Dear whoever finds this,

As we move on in life - it is so easy to hold on to past experiences that we have been through.

From my experience, there are two major ways I have seen this play out.

The first, is how we hold on to negative experiences - especially the ways in which people have hurt us. And we cling to those memories as a form of protection hoping we will never get hurt in the same ways again.

The second, is how we hold on to what we once thought was the best version of ourselves. A past version of us that no longer fully exists in hopes that one day we will return to the state of who we used to be.

We are constantly changing human beings. And both of these perceptions are not what define you. We are not the bad things that have happened to us, and there is not just one past version of yourself that was the end all be all of who you are.

As we grow and shift and move forward, we have the capabilities of becoming new versions of ourselves. And every day that we wake up, we have the capabilities of becoming whoever we want to be.

I know it can be scary to have to dust yourself off and try again at experiences that may have not worked out the first time around. I know it can be scary to pick yourself back up and have to try and reopen yourself to new people because you’ve been miscared for before.

I also know it can be hard to take responsibility for the ways that you have strayed away from things that made you feel like… you.

I know it can be scary to think that you’ll never feel like yourself again. But you can. You just have to be willing to give yourself grace. You are learning. You are not perfect. You made choices based on what you thought was right at the time, with what resources, knowledge and environment you were in.

You’re not always going to get it right. But that is how we learn. And in order to get to where you want to go, forgive yourself first. And use what you know to bring yourself to a place where you love yourself, and trust yourself.

The moment you trust yourself, is when you begin to release fear. It’s when you are able to face moments, people, and places with more confidence again, because you know that despite what happens you are a safe space within yourself.

No one outside of you defines you. No one outside of you can make these changes for you. You do.

So who do you want to be?